Update

We arrived safely in La Quinta last night.

I can't tell you how nice it was to hug my hubby and my kids, to see my parents, brother & his family, and see my Grandma still here.

It is not sunny.  In fact it even sprinkled a bit today.  Is God sending tears for us & for my dear friend who lost her father Thursday night to Pancreatic Cancer?

The rain didn't stop the kids from spending hours in the pool...  All the cousins are so happy to be together.  Today 12 of them were here today playing and enjoying the moment.  (there are 20 all together... with one more on the way)

Tomorrow is my 17 year anniversary.  It is bittersweet this year.  I want to go celebrate but I want to be here with all my family near Grandma.  How do you celebrate when you feel sad?

It is very difficult to watch someone you love so dearly slip away right in front of you.

A few weeks ago Grandma was building ramps for Jack to run his monster trucks, walking around, taking care of her basic needs.  Today she lays in a hospital bed with oxygen, catheter, can't feed herself, wasting away.  She is mostly bone & skin.  Sleeps almost all day.  I almost cry every time I see her.  Honestly I really do.  Life continues to move on around her, with the kids swimming and playing the wii.  My cousin and I putting together a puzzle.  It is only a matter of time and I think she is waiting for a couple more people to get here before she can go.

Tonight one of my cousins got here and surprised us all.  We had no idea she was coming and Grandma had been asking us if she was coming and we would reply "yes she is coming, she is on her way"  but we had no idea whean...  So when she showed up I cried, tears of Joy that Grandma was able to see her, and tears of sadness because we know what is coming.

Hug those you love & tell them you love them.